Sensus fidelium (the good sense of the faithful) rocks!

Yup, yours truly can still play the didgeridoo after the savage attack of that unreconstructed bigot Boru (see previous post). The teeth he broke were only dentures, and I've got a new upper set which fits better.

Now I've been reading a lot about King Bling, aka Benny Ratstinger, and it ain't pretty.

For instance, did you know that he wears Gucci shoes, a white dress, a load of kitschy tat bling, and looks more like a gangsta than a bishop. What is he like!

And he's an arrogant old git and listen to nobody apart from the usual traddy cronies, ponced up in their gladrags and funny red hats.

Well have I've got news for him!

Right on, Herr Benny!

Cos I've been reading up on catholic theology, and have some advice to give him, and all the other traddy bigots who make so much noise.

Vox populi vox Dei! In case your latin ain't up to scratch, that means "The voice of the people is the voice of God. It's in Latin cos it's a popish dogma, as if Benny R didn't know.

Sensus fidelium which means the common sense of the faithful. OK, benny, that's compassionate people like Tony Blair, Jon Cruddas, Greg Pope, Cardinal Campari, and those great folks at the Tablet. People not bound by your tired old dogmas, but following their consciences like what that Newman said they've got to.

So, then, if those loominaries in the "universal church", together with most of the normal folks in the UK think that LGBT marriage, is ok, then IT IS! Or are you gonna says they ain't faithful? Cos if you do, WATCH IT! I'm on to you!

And there's sex-ed, as taught in a lot of the better popish schools, liberated from prudery, resourced with hot sexy blue films, so kids can learn what to do and how. Everybody is OK with that, so that's ok.


The same goes for abortion. What compassionate person wants to return to the dark days of millions of back-street abortions every year, performed on the kitchen table with a pair of dirty scissors? Women dying in their thousands from nasty microbes? Is that compassion? If it is, you can stuff it, you talebanish so-called pro-lifers.

I thank whatever gods there be, that thanks to the compassionate actions of David Steal 45 years ago, fast, safe, caring abortions are as easy to come by as burger and chips.

No more blood poisoning!

No more poverty caused by too many kids.

Remember vox populi vox Dei, and and sensus fidelium. Bow your stiff neck, Ben, to the voice of THE PEOPLE!

So stick that in your thurible and puff it, old men of the vatican!

Bishop Smirk says - Why doesn't that boring Jhon Smeaton just shut up about gays and stick to rabbiting on about abortion?

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Those fine minds and deep thinkers at catholic voices really had it right over John Smeaton and SPUC. And all those people who attack him on Twitter. They know a thing or two.

SPUC's remit is to try to stop abortion, or so they used to say. 

So why the flaming hell are they sticking their oar in over same-sex marriage and that old-hat Pius XI. (here) Why are they attacking Archbishop Vincent Nichols, the great and good Greg Pope, and his fantastic Catholic Education Service, with its up-to-the-minute antihomophobic programmes?

It's nothing to do with abortion, and so (as they so very rightly keep pointing out on Twitter) it's none of Smeaton's or SPUC's business.

My guess is, and you can quote me all you like on this,  SPUC and Smeaton are anti same-sex marriage and anti-abortion cuz they're ANTI-FUN!

BLOODY PURITANS, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!

Guest Post from Sr Betsy Necrosis

Let me firstly thank Bishop Smirk for allowing me space on his wonderful blog, and secondly introduce myself.

I am Sister Betsy Necrosis and have taken public vows to Mother Gaia and Saint Margaret Sanger, to name only two. Inspired by Sister Whacko Dogsbreath to immerse myself in the Enneagram, I feel I am grounded, centred, open, questing, and very often hurting from the way my femininity is disparaged by Catholics, Muslims, and followers of the Great Thumb.

I have been driven to write this by a piece of nastiness on a blog calling itself the League of Torquemada, where a woman calling herself Sr Boudicca Nemesis has written a piece of uncaring, fascist, bigoted, stupid, totalitarian, mindless, prejudiced rubbish, which I think is an attempt to discredit me. That woman, just does not exist. Her name is too similar to mine for it to be a coincidence. It is an attempt to smear me with the brush of crypto-fascism and violent confrontation.

I suspect that behind this muck lies the evil far-from-genius Left-footer, who I have threatened with legal action.

So, just for the record, he is a totally unreconstructed male-chauvinist, sexist, agist, Latin-loving, inquisition-admiring, blinkered.... You name it, he's it.

And he thinks he is SO clever.

I am now overcome with emotion and will withdraw to my cell for some whirling, navel-contemplation, essential oils, and a tantric yoghurt.

More later.

Archbishop of Canterberry puts his foot in it!

Well, I've seen it all now! It seems the Archbishop of Canterberry has really opened his mealy mouth and put his size 12 foot in it.

He said at the World Council of Churches that the Government has no right to legalise same-sex marriage!

Bare-faced arrogance! Just who does he think he is, laying down the law to the rightful democratically elected government of this realm? The pope or something?

I have to hand it to Archbishop Nichols. He can always be counted on to take a more nuanced stance. His eyebrows are normal, too.

BIG-UP, VINCE!!!

A big-up for Fr McFruitloop!

Confessions of a Thirty Something Cybertronian (that Marco's a clever guy with all his theolology and that, but most of it is Greak to me) has some grate news about Fr McFruitloop. I know him well and he's my kind of priest.

No theoligy about Fr McFruitloop!

Many a time we've skinned up a spliff together over a shroom omelette, and I always knew I could trust him with my Mu, he not being the marrying kind (Know what I mean? Know what I mean?).

His ordination was a real gas, and if you want to know more about it, and about this fabulous priest, follow the link to Marco's blog.

If there were more like Fr McFruitloop, and less like Pope Ratstinger, I might even return to the fold.

Mebbe.

Awesome Catholic Voices Have Excelled Themselves - My Congratulations and Thanks!

Aroused from my psilocybin stupor, I rejoice! I exult! No, I triumph!

And why, you ask.

Because "Catholic Voices" have shown the world what a great, wonderful, ranking group of thinkers and wordsmiths they are. The way they use words is AWESOME!

Me, I thought that the words 'Catholic' and 'intellectual' were like chalk and cheese - or self-contradictory, if you know what I mean.

But I was SO wrong.

Here, they write about the UCL Student Unions very wise decision that whenever "pro-lifers" have a meeting, there must be someone to speak out for "pro-choicers" as well.

Quite right - the forces of obscurantism must not be let loose to cloud and poison the minds of young impressionable students. All the usual taleban papists have got their knickers in a twist over this stumbling block to them trying to force their blinkered views down the throats of innocent young people, who just want to have a good time, like you and me.

But "Catholic Voices" have spoken. Three times. And remember "what I tell you three times is true".

Here is what they came up with first:

1 'But in reality, Catholics on campus have nothing to fear. The motion contains no definition of "pro-choice"; if it means simply someone who accepts that abortion should be legal, most Catholics -- including the bishops of England and Wales, who advocate incremental restrictions, but not yet a total ban -- would fit that description.'

So, the bishops of England and Wales are pro-choice. Glory be!

Then they changed it to this:

2 The motion contains no definition of "pro-choice"; if it means simply someone who accepts that abortion cannot be prohibited immediately, most informed Catholics -- including the bishops of England and Wales, who advocate incremental restrictions, but not yet a total ban -- would fit that description.'


 "most Catholics -- including the bishops of England and Wales, who advocate incremental restrictions, but not yet a total ban -- would fit that description." (that's pro-choice)'Yup, I'm happy with that!


And now this:



3 'But in reality, Catholics on campus have nothing to fear. The motion's definition of pro-choice ideology is so narrow and extreme, and its actions so brow-beating and authoritarian, that it will show informed pro-lifers who accept that abortion cannot be prohibited immediately -- including the bishops of England and Wales, who advocate incremental restrictions, but realise that a total ban is currently impossible to achieve -- to be the true advocates of moderate, rational and humane principle.'

So, informed pro-lifers and the bishops of England and Wales advocate incremental restrictions, but realise that a total ban is currently impossible to achieve.

Realistic, flexible, NUANCED, as it should be.

It's what I thought all along! So stick that in your pipe or thuriber and smoke it, Benny 16!!! 

Festive Season Plea from a Depressed and Potless Smirk

Down, I am, dejected and depressed. I had to cancel our Winter Festival, because the Hubberholme Throat Singers wouldn't come - they said I hadn't paid them for last time (not true - we made them Lancashire hot-pot laced with psilocybin shrooms), the women's drum circle have all pleaded colds, and the men's dance group are in Morocco. Only Sister Splitblister was available, and she'salways nagging on about Vatican male power structures, whatever they are.

So here is my lament and plea:


Sod it!
We're out of pot.
Mushrooms
Are all we've got.
Half a kilo -
That's not a lot.

Good will
And all that crap
'S phooey.
Don't give a rap
For Santa -
He's just a sap.

My grandad
Told me so.
Said God
'S a myth also.
(Cambridge man -
He ought to know).

All my
Disciples fled.
Maybe
It's what I said -
'That Nietzsche
Wrote, "God is dead"'

My cult
Don't pay no more.
Need cash
And that's for sure.
Most of all
I need to score.

Ganja
Restores my soul.
Soon things
Begin to roll,
Roll me
Out of this hole.

Truly
C. Hitchens spoke,
"Religion
'S a cruel joke."
So why pray,
When you can toke?

Envoi

Gimme
Some grass to smoke!