Thursday, October 15, 2015

You have a right to choose your gender - and age!

I am delighted to publish here a piece by my old friend from our Strangeways days, Bishop Pugh Malefactor. 

Today I want to salute, commend, and pay tribute to Bishop Smirk, the genderflexible, ageflexible new-age clergyman, and the episcopal epicentre of all that is most inspiring in Milton Keynes.

Courageous as ever, he has decided on a new gender, WOMAN, a new name BETSIE, and a new date of birth - 1.10.1999.

Yes, folks, Bishop Betsie is now 16 years old!

Of course, Betsy has applied for a new birth certificate which will reflect her new gender and age.

She has had a consultation with German gynaecologist Dr Dr Dr Ormonall Phreekes  for treatment for pre-menstrual tension.

Like any other normal 16 year old teenage girl, she is now on the pill and looking forward to a fullfilling sex life.

And I say to Bishop Betsie Smirk,


Tuesday, September 22, 2015

What has religion done for the world? I'll tell you!

What has religion done for the world? I'll tell you!

Caused all the wars in history

Led to the crusades, for which popes can never apologise enough

Led to the Spanish Inquisition, which burned millions of Jews, Protestants, Muslims, Hindus,  Budhdhists, Rastafarians, and freemaisonettes to death

Stops our Queen getting divorced and marrying a Wiccan

Led to forced male and female circumspection and other mutations

Been the opium of the people, like Carl Marks wrote. I'm all for opium, but the real stuff, please, not that kitszy stuff that makes people accept anything their told, provided the person laying down the law is wearing funny clothes (no offence, Dalai Llama!)

In other words, religion is not for the common good and it's time to dump it in the dustbin of history!

So I say we should give a big-up to the Daily Larva, Bertrand Rustle, Dicky Dorkins, and all those brave and honest people who can set forth, godless and undismayed, on the only pilgrimage worth making....

The Search For Truth