tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32279140334633310732024-02-19T04:02:23.358-08:00THE HERMENEUTIC OF COOLLeft-footerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18154175028539882422noreply@blogger.comBlogger46125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3227914033463331073.post-36383602481848809172017-01-13T14:10:00.002-08:002017-01-13T14:10:46.230-08:00Round Objects to Bergoglio<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Yes, it's true. Monsignor Round, Parish Priest of St Torquemada's, Broughton Poggs, is perfectly clear. "I object most strongly," he says, "to the current Pope." </span>Left-footerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18154175028539882422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3227914033463331073.post-26579760561483020072016-12-24T04:58:00.000-08:002016-12-28T01:01:20.104-08:00After Christmas Dinner chez Orgoglio<span style="background-color: #4c1130; font-size: 12px;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Scene: An ecclesiastical doss-house in the Vatican.</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #4c1130; font-size: 12px;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Pope Orgoglio: Where are my presents? What's that? </span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #4c1130; font-size: 12px;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Monsignor Louche: It's your Christmas tree - a present from the South Side Coprophiles, your Holiness.</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #4c1130; font-size: 12px;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Orgoglio: It stinks 'orrible.</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: #4c1130; font-size: 12px;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span><span style="background-color: #4c1130; font-size: 12px;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Monsignor Louche: Your Holiness, it is artificial, everlasting, and made out of second-hand toilet brushes.</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #4c1130; font-size: 12px;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> Orgoglio: Bleagh! Gimme a drink of water. </span></span><span style="background-color: #4c1130; color: white; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12px;">Oh arrrrrgh! Fire and water - man's best friend and worst enemy, oh arrrrgh!</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #4c1130; font-size: 12px;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Cardinal Fondle: [groans, rolls eyes, looks at watch] Indeed your Holiness!</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #4c1130; font-size: 12px;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> Orgoglio: They ol' neo-promethean neo-pelagians never was much cop, or something..... </span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #4c1130; font-size: 12px;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Monsignor Louche: Of course, your Holiness.</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #4c1130; font-size: 12px;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Orgoglio; Gimme the nutcrackers, will ya?</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #4c1130; font-size: 12px;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Monsignor Venal: Your Holiness, there are no nuts to crack. You have cracked them all.</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #4c1130; font-size: 12px;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Orgoglio: Them traddy gits keep saying I'm splitting the Church, but I say I'm just making a mess, like what I told them teenagers to do, eh? Oh arrrrgh! 'Ere! I've been havin' a butchers at the Ten Commandments. Negativity, eh? We gotta do something about that. Too much coprophilia, no? </span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #4c1130; font-size: 12px;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Monsignor Cushion: As your Holiness pleases.</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #4c1130; font-size: 12px;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Orgoglio: Oh arrrgh! The best way to combat terrorism is by warmly welcoming migrants into your homes and helping them integrate into the "European context." </span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #4c1130; font-size: 12px;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Monsignor Cushion: As your Holiness pleases.</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #4c1130; font-size: 12px;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Orgoglio: The best way to combat rape is by warmly welcoming rapists into your homes and helping them integrate into the "European context." </span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #4c1130; font-size: 12px;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Monsignor Louche: Of course, your Holiness.</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #4c1130; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12px;"><span style="color: white;">Orgoglio: The best way to combat negativity is by warmly welcoming negativists and helping them integrate into the "European context. Is that right?" </span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #4c1130; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12px;"><span style="color: white;">[Silence]</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #4c1130; font-size: 12px;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Orgoglio: The best way to combat traditional Catholicism is by warmly welcoming traddies and helping them integrate into the "European context, maybe?" </span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #4c1130; font-size: 12px;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Cardinal Fondle: [visibly jolted] **** that, your Holiness. Those little neo-pelagian ***** can get stuffed!</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #4c1130; font-size: 12px;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Orgoglio: I'm making a mess, eh? Still young at heart, that's me.</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #4c1130; font-size: 12px;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">[Collapse of stout Catholic]</span></span>Left-footerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18154175028539882422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3227914033463331073.post-70807448745251857492015-10-15T11:28:00.001-07:002015-10-16T10:51:18.742-07:00You have a right to choose your gender - and age!<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I am delighted to publish here a piece by my old friend from our Strangeways days, Bishop Pugh Malefactor. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Today I want to salute, commend, and pay tribute to Bishop Smirk, the genderflexible, ageflexible new-age clergyman, and the episcopal epicentre of all that is most inspiring in Milton Keynes.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Courageous as ever, he has decided on a new gender, WOMAN, a new name BETSIE, and a new date of birth - 1.10.1999.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Yes, folks, Bishop Betsie is now 16 years old!</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Of course, Betsy has applied for a new birth certificate which will reflect her new gender and age.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">She has had a consultation with German gynaecologist Dr Dr Dr Ormonall Phreekes for treatment for pre-menstrual tension.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Like any other normal 16 year old teenage girl, she is now on the pill and looking forward to a fullfilling sex life.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">And I say to Bishop Betsie Smirk,</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-large;">SOCK IT TO 'EM SISTER!!!!!</span></div>
Left-footerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18154175028539882422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3227914033463331073.post-9623778680868030922015-09-22T00:59:00.000-07:002015-09-22T01:00:43.731-07:00What has religion done for the world? I'll tell you!<div class="post-body entry-content" id="post-body-1441330199832175872" itemprop="description articleBody" style="background-color: #441500; color: #ffeedd; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13.524px; line-height: 1.5; position: relative; width: 518px;">
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<span lang="EN-US">What has religion done for the world? I'll tell you!</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">Caused all the wars in history</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span lang="EN-US">Led to the crusades, for which popes can never apologise enough</span><br />
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<span lang="EN-US">Led to the Spanish Inquisition, which burned millions of Jews, Protestants, Muslims, Hindus, Budhdhists, Rastafarians, and freemaisonettes to death</span><br />
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<span lang="EN-US">Stops our Queen getting divorced and marrying a Wiccan</span><br />
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<span lang="EN-US">Led to forced male and female circumspection and other mutations</span><br />
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<span lang="EN-US">Been the opium of the people, like Carl Marks wrote. I'm all for opium, but the real stuff, please, not that kitszy stuff that makes people accept anything their told, provided the person laying down the law is wearing funny clothes (no offence, Dalai Llama!)</span><br />
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<span lang="EN-US">In other words, religion is not for the common good and it's time to dump it in the dustbin of history!</span><br />
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<span lang="EN-US">So I say we should give a big-up to the Daily Larva, Bertrand Rustle, Dicky Dorkins, and all those brave and honest people who can set forth, godless and undismayed, on the only pilgrimage worth making....</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-size: large;">The Search For Truth</span></span></div>
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<span class="post-author vcard" style="margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 1em;">Posted by <span class="fn" itemprop="author" itemscope="itemscope" itemtype="http://schema.org/Person"><a class="g-profile" data-gapiattached="true" data-gapiscan="true" data-onload="true" href="https://www.blogger.com/profile/18154175028539882422" rel="author" style="color: #ff8866; text-decoration: none;" title="author profile"><span itemprop="name">Left-footer</span> </a></span></span><span class="post-timestamp" style="margin-left: -1em; margin-right: 1em;">at <a class="timestamp-link" href="http://bishopsmirk.blogspot.com/2012/09/me-and-daily-llama_18.html" rel="bookmark" style="color: #ff8866; text-decoration: none;" title="permanent link"><abbr class="published" itemprop="datePublished" style="border: none;" title="2012-09-18T14:57:00-07:00">2:57 PM</abbr></a> </span><span class="post-comment-link" style="margin-right: 1em;"></span><span class="post-icons" style="margin-right: 1em;"><span class="item-control blog-admin pid-1477651450" style="display: inline;"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=3227914033463331073&postID=1441330199832175872&from=pencil" style="color: #ff8866; text-decoration: none;" title="Edit Post"><img alt="" class="icon-action" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/icon18_edit_allbkg.gif" data-pin-nopin="true" height="18" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px 0px 0px 0.5em !important; position: relative; vertical-align: middle;" width="18" /></a></span></span></div>
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Left-footerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18154175028539882422noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3227914033463331073.post-77933519109260176432014-10-09T00:55:00.002-07:002014-10-09T00:56:54.342-07:00Professor Stunkenhaus on the sanctity of life<h1 style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">
<span style="background-color: #990000; color: white; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: small;">Stunkenhaus: To allow communion for murderers is not to deny the sanctity of life.</span></h1>
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<span style="background-color: #990000; color: white; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 19px;">The sanctity of life is “not seriously called into question” by those who believe practising serial murderers should be allowed to receive communion. Dumkopf Stunkenhaus, Professor of Moral Theology at the Sacher-Masoch University in Franfurt, is adamant about this. The German theologian underlined that too often, the concept of “natural law” was interpreted statically, reducing the “deep meaning of the sanctity of human life” to a mere fact of “being alive”. He disagrees with the term “official Church” (bishops are not “some kind of parallel society within the Church” that is detached from the people). He also stressed that although doctrine and pastoral care are two different things, they cannot contradict each other: “Failure to deal with problems that remain unresolved on a doctrinal level, will simply lead to the Church’s teaching being seen as rigid and lacking in credibility.”</span><br style="border: 0px; line-height: 19px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><span style="line-height: 19px;"> </span></span></div>
Left-footerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18154175028539882422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3227914033463331073.post-62842430690084145372014-10-08T15:07:00.000-07:002014-10-08T16:52:05.128-07:00Cardinal Gasper on the 5th Commandment.<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 28.7999992370605px;">“(T)he Church will not and cannot change the teachings, the doctrine, but it’s a question of the adaption of the doctrine,” he said.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.7999992370605px;"><span style="color: white;"><br style="font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 28.7999992370605px;" /></span></span><span style="background-color: black; color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.7999992370605px;"></span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 28.7999992370605px;">Asked specifically about the Church’s teaching on the wrongness of murder, as stated in the Decalogue, Cardinal Gasper said that “we have to interpret what Moses said about killing.”</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.7999992370605px;"><span style="color: white;"><br style="font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 28.7999992370605px;" /></span></span><span style="background-color: black; color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.7999992370605px;"></span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 28.7999992370605px;">“I think what the Commandment said is true,” the cardinal said of the 5th Commandment. However, he rejected the idea that any specific application of the teaching can be deducted.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.7999992370605px;"><span style="color: white;"><br style="font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 28.7999992370605px;" /></span></span><span style="background-color: black; color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.7999992370605px;"></span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 28.7999992370605px;">Rather, he said, “it’s an ideal and we have to tell people, but then we have also to respect the conscience of those who kill for what ever reason they feel right.”</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.7999992370605px;"><span style="color: white;"><br style="font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 28.7999992370605px;" /></span></span><span style="background-color: black; color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.7999992370605px;"></span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 28.7999992370605px;">Comparing the upcoming synod to the Second Vatican Council, he said the event will be “a listening gathering, listening to what the Spirit says to the Church.”</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.7999992370605px;"><span style="color: white;"><br style="font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 28.7999992370605px;" /></span></span><span style="background-color: black; color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.7999992370605px;"></span><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 28.7999992370605px;">“We have to be realistic, we have to stick to the Gospel, to the doctrine,…but then apply it to the concrete situation of people who are on the way,” he said, also stating that “life is today lived in a very different way, it’s not just the ideal we have, but we have to take people as they are and listen to them.”</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 28.7999992370605px;"><br /></span>Left-footerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18154175028539882422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3227914033463331073.post-4167686938334139852014-08-28T09:43:00.002-07:002014-10-10T02:43:32.528-07:00Hasn't he read Nostra Aetate?<span style="background-color: #990000;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span><span style="color: white; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 20px;"><i>"Turn the anger of the Almighty against the godless Turks and Barbarians who despise Christ the Lord...each success, will only be a stepping stone until he has mastered all the Western Monarchs, overthrown the Christian Faith, and imposed the law of his false prophet on the whole world.</i>"</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #990000;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 20px;">(Pope Pius II, 1458-1464)</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="line-height: 20px;"><span style="background-color: #990000; color: white; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-large;">BIGOT!!!</span></span><br />
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<span style="line-height: 20px;"><span style="background-color: #990000; color: white; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Makes you ashamed to be Catholic, dunnit?</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: #990000; line-height: 20px;">Thank goodness Frankie nose better!</span></span></div>
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Left-footerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18154175028539882422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3227914033463331073.post-32363385060638869372014-08-26T19:28:00.002-07:002014-08-26T19:32:20.154-07:00As I was sayin when rudelly interuptedThe lobotomy was a success and Im back in buissness.<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">WATCH THIS SPACE!!!</span>Left-footerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18154175028539882422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3227914033463331073.post-80133271386961611532014-04-25T14:36:00.000-07:002014-08-26T19:29:34.475-07:00Big Up to Dwight Longenecker and Frankie, a Pope for the 21st century!!!<span style="background-color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">On communion for married and divorced people, opines Dwight:</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #990000;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">"Furthermore, I’m of the opinion that the marriage discipline of the church should be examined and some sort of reform put in place for the sake of people living in the modern world. I am not a rabid right winger who thinks Pope Francis is the anti-pope before the end of the world."</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: #990000;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">Couldn't have said it better myself. Remember, "The Sabbath was made for Man and not Man for the Sabbath"?</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: #990000;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">Well, how about, </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">"Marriage was made for Man and not Man for Marriage"?</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: #990000;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Tahoma, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">And, </span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">"Communion was made for Man and not Man for Communion"?</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: #990000;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Helvetica, Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: large; line-height: 24px;"><b>Get with it you pelagian rosary-counting twits and christian bat-people.</b></span></span><br />
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Left-footerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18154175028539882422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3227914033463331073.post-57261144152637515572014-04-18T01:55:00.000-07:002014-04-20T07:31:13.016-07:00Foot-Washing in the Church of M.U.G.W.U.M.P.<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I ask you! All this palaver about Pope Frankie washing women's feet!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">What's with these dark age dinosaurs who don't understand what it's all about? I mean -</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Humility</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Subjugation</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Which is why, in my cathedral in Glastonbury, I wash </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Only women's feet, cuz yours truly is no sexist</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Only young women's feet cuz yours truly is no agist</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Only attractive young women's feet, cuz I am not a puritanical anti-sex Pelagian (thanks, Frankie!)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">As that great poet Leonard Cohen would say, </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">HALLELUJAH!!!!!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>Left-footerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18154175028539882422noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3227914033463331073.post-15166009913777531322013-03-16T16:25:00.000-07:002016-11-19T14:40:26.315-08:00The Next Pope Will Be a Computer<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">D<i>r Mehnstriem Pixelrast, Chair of the Department of Virtual Intelligence and Fellow of Ebenezer Cretin College at Bullford University writes this month's guest post.</i></span><br />
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<i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Dr Pixelrast is known to everyone as a regular guest on the BBC's popular religious programme Your God is the Wrong Size, or Something. His best remembered appearance featured his computerised pit bull terrier CRUD, which ate, amongst others, fellow guest Bishop Polly Pistis and destroyed mos</span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">t of the set. Dr Pixelrast writes:</span></i><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>The Problem</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I have followed the elections and subsequent performances during their employmenst of the last four popes, and it has not been a pretty sight. For a world-class faith group, the Catholic church is in terminal decline, and the reasons are not hard to find.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">1. Popes, widely thought to be infallible, have a humungous gift for opening their mouths and putting their feet in them. Think ex-nazi Benedict and his bigoted attack on Islam, his remarks about gays and condoms. Think back to John Paul 1, and the so-called smoke of Satan, Humanae Vitae, which split his church. Think John Paul 2 and his populist attention-seeking. And now we have Pope Frankie with his schmoozing up to dictators and his intolerant attacks on gays and abortion.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">If Frankie ever sets foot in the UK, me and Dicky Dorkins will get him arrested for homophobia and hate-crime.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Think of Pius 12, Hiltler's Pope, a died in the wool anti-semite.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">2. Popes get old and senile, prone to delusions of grandeur, bees in their belfries and bats in their hats. Nor good for a faith community with the pretensions of the Catholic church.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">3. Popes are the victims of political pressure, private loyalties, nepotism, the Vatican mafia.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">4. Popes are totally inefficient, fallible, human.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">5. They are, incredibly, in this day and age, always male.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>SMALL WONDER THE ENTIRE BLOGOSPHERE, CATHOLIC AND OTHERWISE IS ALREADY SNIPING AT POPE FRANKIE</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>The Solution</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>SPUFCFCU</b> (self-programming user-friendly computer for faith community use).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">The next Pope must be <b>It's Holiness </b></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>SPUFCFCU, </b>gender-neutral, infallible, programmable with the scriptures of any faith community, including humanists, wiccans, and satanist. It can write encyclicals, give interviews, <b>and will never make mistakes.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-weight: bold;">No more papal elections!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-weight: bold;">No more gaffes!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-weight: bold;">No more dumkopfs!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Have I made my point?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-weight: bold;"><br /></span>Left-footerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18154175028539882422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3227914033463331073.post-84255002624233831992013-02-13T23:16:00.003-08:002013-02-13T23:16:55.428-08:00Cardinal Murphy O'connor Agrees with Me!<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="http://bishopsmirk.blogspot.com/2012/03/sensus-fidelium-good-sense-of-faithful.html">I said it first, last March, that the pope should listen to the sesnus fidelium, or voice of the people</a>.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Remember, you read it here first.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And the Daily Telegraph reports that Cardinal Cormac Murphy O'Connor agrees, that the next pope should be a<span style="font-size: large;"><b> "listening pope". </b></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-large;"><b>Yay!</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>Left-footerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18154175028539882422noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3227914033463331073.post-14413301998321758722012-09-18T14:57:00.000-07:002017-02-19T02:58:58.126-08:00Me and the Daily Llama<br />
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<span lang="EN-US">Like the Daily Llama, I’ve decided to move on, break camp, and head for the beach.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">As that great man so very rightly said,</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">“All the world’s major religions, with their emphasis on love, compassion, patience, tolerance, and forgiveness can and do promote inner values. But the reality of the world today is that grounding ethics in religion is no longer adequate. This is why I am increasingly convinced that the time has come to find a way of thinking about spirituality and ethics beyond religion altogether.”</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">Blows your mind, don't it? What a man! What a spiritual leader!</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">As my help-meat and I were sitting eating our frugal repast today, frugal, cuz we spent our benefit yesterday, she turned to me and said,</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">"Here! That daft Left-footer's rabbiting on about some Mundabor who's got his knickers in a twist about the Daily Lammer!"</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">I looked at the computer screen. The poor silly girl can hardly read when she's stoned, but when I read Mundabor's blog, I was flabbergasted, over the moon.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">And of course the Llama is 100% right. </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">What has religion done for the world? I'll tell you!</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">Caused all the wars in history</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span lang="EN-US">Led to the crusades, for which popes can never apologise enough</span><br />
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<span lang="EN-US">Led to the Spanish Inquisition, which burned millions of Jews, Protestants, Muslims, Hindus, Budhdhists, Rastafarians, and freemaisonettes to death</span><br />
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<span lang="EN-US">Stops our Queen getting divorced and marrying a Wiccan</span><br />
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<span lang="EN-US">Led to forced male and female circumspection and other mutations</span><br />
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<span lang="EN-US">Been the opium of the people, like Carl Marks wrote. I'm all for opium, but the real stuff, please, not that kitszy stuff that makes people accept anything their told, provided the person laying down the law is wearing funny clothes (no offence, Dalai Llama!)</span><br />
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<span lang="EN-US">In other words, religion is not for the common good (eh Benny Ratstinker?) and it's time to dump it in the dustbin of history!</span><br />
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<span lang="EN-US">So I say we should give a big-up to the Daily Larva, Bertrand Rustle, Dicky Dorkins, and all those brave and honest people who can set forth, godless and undismayed, on the only pilgrimage worth making....</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-size: x-large;">The Search For Truth</span></span></div>
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Left-footerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18154175028539882422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3227914033463331073.post-50856536179364609152012-09-16T07:00:00.000-07:002012-09-21T17:46:54.250-07:00A guest post from Sister Medea Glumleigh-Questing.<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><u>Sister Medea writes -</u></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Friends, non-bigots, all of you beautiful people out there, I want to share with you something so adorable, wise, hopeful, and compassionate, that it makes my cuddly old heart beat like a tom-tom.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Having been unspeakably moved at so many of his Rainbow, Leather, Bear, Gay, and Dyke Masses, you will understand the joy that fills me when I read his caring compassionate words.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I am talking of course about that dear old honey......t</span><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">he one-and-only......</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Archbishop Professor Dummkopf von Perversionen zur Hölle!!!!!</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Ok, so you thought that Austria was all cuckoo-clocks, alpenhorns, and lederhosen?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">You got it wrong people! Austria is the matrix, the crucible, the melting-pot, the genesis of all that's new, good, and hopeful in the Roman Catholic church. Ok, so there's not much</span><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">new, good, and hopeful in the Roman Catholic Church, but the Archbishop is a start.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">In his latest boo<i>k, </i></span><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>Der Papst: Idiot oder Schweinhund</i>,</span><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> the result of his pioneering missionary work in the gay communities of San Francisco, Brighton, Vienna, Berlin, and Milton Keynes, he writes movingly of the need of the Church to move with the times, to embrace what is good and new, to affirm the rightness of sex in all is rich multiplicity of forms, expressions, and richness.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">As he writes (my translation):</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>Those who reject gaypersonhoodsters, leathermensterness, bears, dykes, questingers, and outednesters are imprisoned in the todeslager of homophobia created by St Paul and his Vatican running dogs and lickspittles</i>. </span><i style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">The Truth sets us free, but have we the courage to embrace it?</i><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Powerful words, and no one can be more heartened than I to read them.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">And now back to my malted milk and bikkies.</span><br />
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Left-footerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18154175028539882422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3227914033463331073.post-72396178475130442982012-08-17T00:48:00.012-07:002012-08-17T15:43:01.730-07:00A New Praise Song from J Clarbis Reilly<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
J Clarbis Reilly is a resident praise-song writer at The Gruel Hymn Factory. This is his latest. I guess you'll all know the tune.</div>
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Beboppaloobah! He's my Baby</div>
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Beboppaloobah! Don't mean maybe!</div>
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Beboppaloobah! He's my Baby now!</div>
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Got me a sweet Lord, in the cradle</div>
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Dishing out salvation with a big ladle,</div>
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Beboppaloobah! He's my Baby now!</div>
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Just like Krishna, Buddha, the Big Thumb!</div>
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He'll haul me up to the great Kingdom-Come</div>
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Beboppaloobah! He's my Baby now!</div>
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Wow! Mary, you've got a real cool Boy-Child!</div>
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He's gonna turn old Caiphas real wild!</div>
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Beboppaloobah! He's my Baby now!</div>
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He'll lead us all in the coolest dance - oh</div>
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Like Sidney Carter wrote in "Lord of the dance", so</div>
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Beboppaloobah! He's my Baby now!</div>
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<br />Left-footerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18154175028539882422noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3227914033463331073.post-649295099549497632012-07-27T08:31:00.001-07:002012-07-28T00:26:04.214-07:00Make this Man Pope Now!<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
Once in a generation, there arises a mind so exalted, so free from the trammels of dogma (or dogpa - let's be inclusive, eh?), so FREE-RANGING, that his powers of clear thinking, plain speaking, and vibrant moral leadership must not be lost or wasted.</div>
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Who have I got in mind? </div>
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Do you really need to ask? Jhon Crudass of course, a man unafraid to speak his mind, whether about termonation of unwanted pregnancy or gay marriage.</div>
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Hats off to him, I say, and to that fine Bishop McMahon, who will be introducing him as speaker at the prestigious forthcoming conference of Catholic Commission for Peace and Social Justice.</div>
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Of course, that old misery, Jon Smeaton of SPUC has got his zimmer frame in a twist over it.</div>
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So has that tiny twit Left-footer.</div>
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Why don't they accept that the lost battles of the past - abortion, homophobia, condoms, zoophilia, boot-fetishism, were LOST. </div>
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THEY CAN'T GET THE BLIMMING TOOTHPASTE BACK IN THE TUBE, CAN THEY!</div>
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I say, send Benny 16 to an eventide home, and let's have a young, open-minded, courageous Pope instead. None other than.....</div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">JHON CRUDDAS, MP. </span>Left-footerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18154175028539882422noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3227914033463331073.post-55298919133659292582012-07-04T13:17:00.001-07:002012-07-08T13:03:02.464-07:00Help! I have been Meme-ed!<br />
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Help! I have been Meme-ed!</h3>
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<i>Which is nowhere as bad as being maimed.</i><br />
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<b>11 Questions for my friends:</b><br />
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1. Do you cut your sandwiches into squares or triangles?<br />
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<b> </b><i> I roll my bread round a shroom omelette..</i><br />
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2. Do you know Beethoven as one of the worlds greatest composers, or as a big dog in a rather ordinary children's movie.<br />
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<i>Duh?</i><br />
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3. What color is your toothbrush? And, is your toothbrush interchangeable with your spouses? With their full knowledge and consent?<br />
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<i>I'd swap my toothbrush for a spouse anytime.</i><br />
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4. Do you stir your coffee right to left or left to right? And do you ding your spoon on the edge of the cup until the rest of the family screams blue murder?<br />
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<i>Can't remember.</i><br />
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5. Do you ever wear odd socks? And if you do, do you always start the day by saying you hope you don't die today?<br />
<i></i><i></i><br />
People say my socks are very odd.<br />
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6/ Is perspicacious part of your vocabulary?<br />
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See (2)<br />
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7. What was donatello before he bacame a world famous Ninja Turtle?<br />
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<i>A ninja turtle egg?</i><br />
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8. Does your exerciser regime challenge more than your wii controller muscles<i>? </i><i> </i><br />
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<i>See(2)</i><br />
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9. Do you laugh hysterically at your own jokes? At confession?<br />
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<i>Dunno</i><br />
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10. What are the names of Donald Duck's nephews?<br />
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<i>Huey, Dewey and Louie-- aux prunes s'il vous plait.</i><br />
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11. And, lastly, for fans of the brilliant Charles Schultz, have you ever had occasion to call any of your children "Pigpen"?<br />
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<i>No - ain't no kids.</i></div>
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<i><br /></i>OK, not linking, but TAGGED: Marco, <i></i></div>
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<br /></div>Left-footerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18154175028539882422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3227914033463331073.post-60506212683998870782012-07-04T00:06:00.000-07:002012-07-04T09:17:20.975-07:00Benedict XVI sees sense at last<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">What great times we live in! Fantastic, fabulous, cool, wicked, mind-blowing!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Yes, I know I've been kinda hard on Benny in the past, but he had it coming, I guess, with his red Gucci stilettos, and all that schmoozing up to the traddies.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">But now I take my hat off to the man. HE ROCKS!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Yup, he appointed Archbishop Muller to be head of the Spanish Inquisition, a step of such courage and vision that the mind of yours truly is well and truly BLOWN.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Why am I so fantabulously chuffed? Well,</span><br />
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<ol>
<li><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Muller has written that the Catholic obsession with the virginity of Mary is IRRELEVANT! I think he says that the physical virginity is not a big issue here - it's all about a state of mind! BINGO!</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">He writes that Transubstantiation is old-hat. We must think of symbolism, community, TOGETHERNESS. I'm cool with that.</span>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Muller has guts! I love that man!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">So, my dear seekers after the many-faceted truth, the hermeneutic of cool, EXPECT TO SEE ME AT MASS NEXT SUNDAY!!!!!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">And may Whatever bless you!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Smirkie.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span>Left-footerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18154175028539882422noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3227914033463331073.post-9217977673521904692012-03-29T15:11:00.000-07:002012-12-10T00:37:29.142-08:00Sensus fidelium (the good sense of the faithful) rocks!<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Yup, yours truly can still play the didgeridoo after the savage attack of that unreconstructed bigot Boru (see previous post). The teeth he broke were only dentures, and I've got a new upper set which fits better.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Now I've been reading a lot about King Bling, aka Benny Ratstinger, and it ain't pretty.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">For instance, did you know that he wears Gucci shoes, a white dress, a load of kitschy tat bling, and looks more like a gangsta than a bishop. What is he like!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">And he's an arrogant old git and listen to nobody apart from the usual traddy cronies, ponced up in their gladrags and funny red hats.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Well have I've got news for him!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Right on, Herr Benny!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Cos I've been reading up on catholic theology, and have some advice to give him, and all the other traddy bigots who make so much noise.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;"><strong>Vox populi vox Dei</strong>! In case your latin ain't up to scratch, that means "The voice of the people is the voice of God. It's in Latin cos it's a popish dogma, as if Benny R didn't know.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;"><strong>Sensus fidelium</strong> which means the common sense of the faithful. OK, benny, that's compassionate people like Tony Blair, Jon Cruddas, Greg Pope, Cardinal Campari, and those great folks at the Tablet. People not bound by your tired old dogmas, but following their consciences like what that Newman said they've got to.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">So, then, if those loominaries in the "universal church", together with most of the normal folks in the UK think that LGBT marriage, is ok, then IT IS! Or are you gonna says they ain't faithful? Cos if you do, WATCH IT! I'm on to you!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">And there's sex-ed, as taught in a lot of the better popish schools, liberated from prudery, resourced with hot sexy blue films, so kids can learn what to do and how. Everybody is OK with that, so that's ok.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">The same goes for abortion. What compassionate person wants to return to the dark days of millions of back-street abortions every year, performed on the kitchen table with a pair of dirty scissors? Women dying in their thousands from nasty microbes? Is that compassion? If it is, you can stuff it, you talebanish so-called pro-lifers.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">I thank whatever gods there be, that thanks to the compassionate actions of David Steal 45 years ago, fast, safe, caring abortions are as easy to come by as burger and chips.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">No more blood poisoning!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">No more poverty caused by too many kids.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Remember <strong>vox populi vox Dei</strong>, and and <strong>sensus fidelium</strong>. Bow your stiff neck, Ben, to the voice of THE PEOPLE!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">So stick that in your thurible and puff it, old men of the vatican!</span>Left-footerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18154175028539882422noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3227914033463331073.post-46460289469935585092012-03-19T08:48:00.005-07:002012-03-19T10:03:01.273-07:00Bishop Smirk says - Why doesn't that boring Jhon Smeaton just shut up about gays and stick to rabbiting on about abortion?<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I've said it before and I'll say it again. Those fine minds and deep thinkers at catholic voices really had it right over John Smeaton and SPUC. And all those people who attack him on Twitter. They know a thing or two.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">SPUC's remit is to try to stop abortion, or so they used to say. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">So why the flaming hell are they sticking their oar in</span> <span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">over same-sex marriage and that old-hat Pius XI. <a href="http://spuc-director.blogspot.com/2012/03/todays-catholic-bishops-must-apply.html">(here)</a> Why are they attacking Archbishop Vincent Nichols, the great and good Greg Pope, and his fantastic Catholic Education Service, with its up-to-the-minute antihomophobic programmes?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">It's nothing to do with abortion, and so (as they so very rightly keep pointing out on Twitter) it's none of Smeaton's or SPUC's business.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">My guess is, and you can quote me all you like on this, SPUC and Smeaton are anti same-sex marriage and anti-abortion cuz they're ANTI-FUN!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">BLOODY PURITANS, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!</span>Left-footerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18154175028539882422noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3227914033463331073.post-46443535871903244282012-03-09T07:15:00.002-08:002012-03-10T00:47:22.230-08:00Guest Post from Sr Betsy Necrosis<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Let me firstly thank Bishop Smirk for allowing me space on his wonderful blog, and secondly introduce myself.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">I am Sister Betsy Necrosis and have taken public vows to Mother Gaia and Saint Margaret Sanger, to name only two. Inspired by Sister Whacko Dogsbreath to immerse myself in the Enneagram, I feel I am grounded, centred, open, questing, and very often hurting from the way my femininity is disparaged by Catholics, Muslims, and followers of the Great Thumb.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">I have been driven to write this by a piece of nastiness on a blog calling itself <a href="http://theleagueoftorquemada.blogspot.com/2012/03/sister-boudicca-nemesis-writes-so-put.html">the League of Torquemada</a>, where a woman calling herself Sr Boudicca Nemesis has written a piece of uncaring, fascist, bigoted, stupid, totalitarian, mindless, prejudiced rubbish, which I think is an attempt to discredit <em>me</em>. That woman, just does not exist. Her name is too similar to mine for it to be a coincidence. It is an attempt to smear me with the brush of crypto-fascism and violent confrontation.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">I suspect that behind this muck lies the evil far-from-genius Left-footer, who I have threatened with legal action.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">So, just for the record, he is a totally unreconstructed male-chauvinist, sexist, agist, Latin-loving, inquisition-admiring, blinkered.... You name it, he's it.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">And he thinks he is SO clever.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">I am now overcome with emotion and will withdraw to my cell for some whirling, navel-contemplation, essential oils, and a tantric yoghurt.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">More later.</span>Left-footerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18154175028539882422noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3227914033463331073.post-71575917112551437462012-02-29T12:51:00.001-08:002012-02-29T12:52:20.790-08:00Archbishop of Canterberry puts his foot in it!<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Well, I've seen it all now! It seems the Archbishop of Canterberry has really opened his mealy mouth and put his size 12 foot in it.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">He said at the World Council of Churches that the <strong>Government has no right to legalise same-sex marriage</strong>!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Bare-faced arrogance! Just who does he think he is, laying down the law to the rightful democratically elected government of this realm? The pope or something?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">I have to hand it to Archbishop Nichols. He can always be counted on to take a more nuanced stance. His eyebrows are normal, too.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: large;"><strong>BIG-UP, VINCE!!!</strong></span>Left-footerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18154175028539882422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3227914033463331073.post-12839626899413757242012-02-20T13:26:00.001-08:002012-02-20T14:10:57.221-08:00A big-up for Fr McFruitloop!<a href="http://prime1-marco.blogspot.com/2012/02/mcfruitloop-files.html"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Confessions of a Thirty Something Cybertronian</span></a><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> (that Marco's a clever guy with all his theolology and that, but most of it is Greak to me) has some grate news about Fr McFruitloop. I know him well and he's my kind of priest.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">No theoligy about Fr McFruitloop!</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Many a time we've skinned up a spliff together over a shroom omelette, and I always knew I could trust him with my Mu, he not being the marrying kind (Know what I mean? Know what I mean?).</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">His ordination was a real gas, and if you want to know more about it, and about this fabulous priest, follow the link to Marco's blog.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">If there were more like Fr McFruitloop, and less like Pope Ratstinger, I might even return to the fold.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Mebbe.</span>Left-footerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18154175028539882422noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3227914033463331073.post-1870500885813626332012-02-07T10:14:00.000-08:002012-02-07T13:20:12.152-08:00Awesome Catholic Voices Have Excelled Themselves - My Congratulations and Thanks!<em></em><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Aroused from my psilocybin stupor, I rejoice! I exult! No, I triumph!</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">And why, you ask.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Because "Catholic Voices" have shown the world what a great, wonderful, ranking group of thinkers and wordsmiths they are. The way they use words is <strong>AWESOME!</strong></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Me, I thought that the words 'Catholic' and 'intellectual' were like chalk and cheese - or self-contradictory, if you know what I mean.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">But I was SO wrong.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Here, they write about the UCL Student Unions very wise decision that whenever "pro-lifers" have a meeting, there must be someone to speak out for "pro-choicers" as well.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Quite right - the forces of obscurantism must not be let loose to cloud and poison the minds of young impressionable students. All the usual taleban papists have got their knickers in a twist over this stumbling block to them trying to force their blinkered views down the throats of innocent young people, who just want to have a good time, like you and me.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">But "Catholic Voices" have spoken. Three times. And remember "what I tell you three times is true".</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Here is what they came up with <strong>first</strong>:</span><br />
<br />
<em>1 'But in reality, Catholics on campus have nothing to fear. The motion contains no definition of "pro-choice"; if it means simply someone who accepts that abortion should be legal, most Catholics -- including the bishops of England and Wales, who advocate incremental restrictions, but not yet a total ban -- would fit that description.'</em><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So, the bishops of England and Wales are pro-choice. Glory be!</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"><strong>Then</strong> they changed it to this:</span><br />
<br />
<em>2 The motion contains no definition of "pro-choice"; <strong>if it means simply someone who accepts that abortion cannot be prohibited immediately, most informed Catholics -- including the bishops of England and Wales, who advocate incremental restrictions, but not yet a total ban -- would fit that description.'</strong></em><br />
<em></em><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><em> </em><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"most Catholics -- including the bishops of England and Wales, who advocate incremental restrictions, but not yet a total ban -- would fit that description."</span> </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">(that's <strong>pro-choice</strong>)<em>'</em>Yup</span>, I'm happy with that! </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And now <strong>this</strong>:</span><br />
<em><br />
</em><br />
<em></em><br />
<em>3 'But in reality, Catholics on campus have nothing to fear. The motion's definition of pro-choice ideology is so narrow and extreme, and its actions so brow-beating and authoritarian, that it will show informed pro-lifers who accept that abortion cannot be prohibited immediately -- including the bishops of England and Wales, who advocate incremental restrictions, but realise that a total ban is currently impossible to achieve -- to be the true advocates of moderate, rational and humane principle.'</em><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So, <strong>informed pro-lifers and the bishops of England and Wales advocate incremental restrictions, but realise that a total ban is currently impossible to achieve.</strong></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Realistic, flexible, NUANCED, as it should be.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">It's what I thought all along! So stick that in your pipe or thuriber and smoke it, Benny 16!!! </span><br />
<em></em><br />
<em><br />
</em>Left-footerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18154175028539882422noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3227914033463331073.post-37602338723720445772011-12-25T02:32:00.000-08:002011-12-25T08:20:24.209-08:00Festive Season Plea from a Depressed and Potless Smirk<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Down, I am, dejected and depressed. I had to cancel our Winter Festival, because the Hubberholme Throat Singers wouldn't come - they said I hadn't paid them for last time (not true - we made them Lancashire hot-pot laced with psilocybin shrooms), the women's drum circle have all pleaded colds, and the men's dance group are in Morocco. Only Sister Splitblister was available, and she'salways nagging on about Vatican male power structures, whatever they are.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">So here is my lament and plea:</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Sod it!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We're out of pot.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Mushrooms</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Are all we've got.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Half a kilo -</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">That's not a lot.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Good will</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And all that crap</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">'S phooey.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Don't give a rap</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">For Santa - </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">He's just a sap.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My grandad</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Told me so.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Said God</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">'S a myth also.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">(Cambridge man -</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">He ought to know).</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">All my</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Disciples fled.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Maybe</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It's what I said - </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">'That Nietzsche</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Wrote, "God is dead"'</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My cult</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Don't pay no more.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Need cash</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And that's for sure.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Most of all</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I need to score.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Ganja</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Restores my soul.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Soon things</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Begin to roll,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Roll me</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Out of this hole.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Truly </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">C. Hitchens spoke,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"Religion</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">'S a cruel joke."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So why pray,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When you can toke?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Envoi</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Gimme</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Some grass to smoke!</span>Left-footerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18154175028539882422noreply@blogger.com4