You have a right to choose your gender - and age!

I am delighted to publish here a piece by my old friend from our Strangeways days, Bishop Pugh Malefactor. 

Today I want to salute, commend, and pay tribute to Bishop Smirk, the genderflexible, ageflexible new-age clergyman, and the episcopal epicentre of all that is most inspiring in Milton Keynes.


Courageous as ever, he has decided on a new gender, WOMAN, a new name BETSIE, and a new date of birth - 1.10.1999.

Yes, folks, Bishop Betsie is now 16 years old!

Of course, Betsy has applied for a new birth certificate which will reflect her new gender and age.

She has had a consultation with German gynaecologist Dr Dr Dr Ormonall Phreekes  for treatment for pre-menstrual tension.

Like any other normal 16 year old teenage girl, she is now on the pill and looking forward to a fullfilling sex life.

And I say to Bishop Betsie Smirk,

SOCK IT TO 'EM SISTER!!!!!

Foot-Washing in the Church of M.U.G.W.U.M.P.

I ask you! All this palaver about Pope Frankie washing women's feet!

What's with these dark age dinosaurs who don't understand what it's all about? I mean -

Humility

Service

Subjugation

Which is why, in my cathedral in Glastonbury, I wash 

Only women's feet, cuz yours truly is no sexist

Only young women's feet cuz yours truly is no agist

Only attractive young women's feet, cuz I am not a puritanical anti-sex Pelagian (thanks, Frankie!)

As that great poet Leonard Cohen would say, 

HALLELUJAH!!!!!