Awesome Catholic Voices Have Excelled Themselves - My Congratulations and Thanks!

Aroused from my psilocybin stupor, I rejoice! I exult! No, I triumph!

And why, you ask.

Because "Catholic Voices" have shown the world what a great, wonderful, ranking group of thinkers and wordsmiths they are. The way they use words is AWESOME!

Me, I thought that the words 'Catholic' and 'intellectual' were like chalk and cheese - or self-contradictory, if you know what I mean.

But I was SO wrong.

Here, they write about the UCL Student Unions very wise decision that whenever "pro-lifers" have a meeting, there must be someone to speak out for "pro-choicers" as well.

Quite right - the forces of obscurantism must not be let loose to cloud and poison the minds of young impressionable students. All the usual taleban papists have got their knickers in a twist over this stumbling block to them trying to force their blinkered views down the throats of innocent young people, who just want to have a good time, like you and me.

But "Catholic Voices" have spoken. Three times. And remember "what I tell you three times is true".

Here is what they came up with first:

1 'But in reality, Catholics on campus have nothing to fear. The motion contains no definition of "pro-choice"; if it means simply someone who accepts that abortion should be legal, most Catholics -- including the bishops of England and Wales, who advocate incremental restrictions, but not yet a total ban -- would fit that description.'

So, the bishops of England and Wales are pro-choice. Glory be!

Then they changed it to this:

2 The motion contains no definition of "pro-choice"; if it means simply someone who accepts that abortion cannot be prohibited immediately, most informed Catholics -- including the bishops of England and Wales, who advocate incremental restrictions, but not yet a total ban -- would fit that description.'


 "most Catholics -- including the bishops of England and Wales, who advocate incremental restrictions, but not yet a total ban -- would fit that description." (that's pro-choice)'Yup, I'm happy with that!


And now this:



3 'But in reality, Catholics on campus have nothing to fear. The motion's definition of pro-choice ideology is so narrow and extreme, and its actions so brow-beating and authoritarian, that it will show informed pro-lifers who accept that abortion cannot be prohibited immediately -- including the bishops of England and Wales, who advocate incremental restrictions, but realise that a total ban is currently impossible to achieve -- to be the true advocates of moderate, rational and humane principle.'

So, informed pro-lifers and the bishops of England and Wales advocate incremental restrictions, but realise that a total ban is currently impossible to achieve.

Realistic, flexible, NUANCED, as it should be.

It's what I thought all along! So stick that in your pipe or thuriber and smoke it, Benny 16!!! 

Festive Season Plea from a Depressed and Potless Smirk

Down, I am, dejected and depressed. I had to cancel our Winter Festival, because the Hubberholme Throat Singers wouldn't come - they said I hadn't paid them for last time (not true - we made them Lancashire hot-pot laced with psilocybin shrooms), the women's drum circle have all pleaded colds, and the men's dance group are in Morocco. Only Sister Splitblister was available, and she'salways nagging on about Vatican male power structures, whatever they are.

So here is my lament and plea:


Sod it!
We're out of pot.
Mushrooms
Are all we've got.
Half a kilo -
That's not a lot.

Good will
And all that crap
'S phooey.
Don't give a rap
For Santa -
He's just a sap.

My grandad
Told me so.
Said God
'S a myth also.
(Cambridge man -
He ought to know).

All my
Disciples fled.
Maybe
It's what I said -
'That Nietzsche
Wrote, "God is dead"'

My cult
Don't pay no more.
Need cash
And that's for sure.
Most of all
I need to score.

Ganja
Restores my soul.
Soon things
Begin to roll,
Roll me
Out of this hole.

Truly
C. Hitchens spoke,
"Religion
'S a cruel joke."
So why pray,
When you can toke?

Envoi

Gimme
Some grass to smoke!

Big-up to Clifford Longley, and his great and brave defence of that fine MP Jon Cruddas!

Smirk Opines


Hooray for Clifford Longley, and his great and brave defence of that fine MP Jon Cruddas.

As Mr Longley very rightly said in that fine Catholic magazine, The Tablet,

"Would it not be reasonable for Catholic MPs to want to take into account the damage to respect for democracy and the rule of law that would follow if the criminalisation of all abortion had somehow been forced through Parliament in defiance of public opinion?"

Destroy Democracy for a blob of tissue that may have a cleft-palate, or flat feet or something? For a life (as the much-maligned Adolf Hitler remarked) that is not worth living?

Insane!

Mr Longley, the editor of the Tablet, John Cruddas,

I salute you.

Just keep 'em coming!

A Stupid Old Git called "Left-footer"

A Limerick by the Next Poet Laureate (Lil' Ol' Smirky)

A stupid old git called "Left-footer"
Thinks he's smart, but he's really a nutter.
Cracked under life's strain,
His hate-addled brain
Is where paranoid fantasies flutter.

Shrigots! All Kudos to John Cruddas MP and Francis Davis, a Circular Magician if there ever was one!

So Taleban Catholic bloggers - shrigots = shrill bigots (my own word, and I'm really proud of that one) are getting their knickers in a twist over the Dominicans inviting Mr John Cruddas MP to speak at their Oxford venue. As the Dominicans (or Dominican'ts tee! hee!) ran the Spanish Inquisition, responsible for the torture and murder of millions of Jews, Muslims, and Protestants, I guess he was doing them a great honour in accepting.

But no, a foreign Priest (H/T to Francis Davis here) called Father Pereira, supported by SPUC has thrown a spanner in the works. There will be no learned address from Mr Cruddas, who has done so much to support abortion and other liberal Catholic issues in Parliament.

The Dominicans couldn't do this great man (and a credit to his church) a honour if they tried!

By inviting this wise and compassionate man to give up his valuable time at the Mother of Parliaments to explain democracy to a bunch of obscurantist mystagogues, they are honouring only THEMSELVES.

SCUM!!!!!

I'm off now to read the rest of Francis Davis's blog and leave some complimentary comments.

Bestial Pride!

What a great government we've got here in Britain! From now on I will always vote for the coalition!

First the last P.M., David Cameron announces plans to legalise gay marriage after March, and now, the new coalition Premier, Mr Napevno Gwoopy, not to be outdone, has promised what we've been waiting so long for.

Yes, all of us zoophiles can come out of the closet, or kennel, or rabbit-hutch, or hen-house now and rejoice, proudly, in our orientation, cuz within the year, promises Mr Gwoopy, inter-species marriage will be here.

My darling little aardvark Frisky was over the moon when I told him. The look of joy and gratitude in his eyes told me all I needed to know.

We can't wait to TIE THE KNOT! Now we must find him a wedding dress!

And yes, my friends in the Zoophile Information Exchange are planning the biggest street party ever seen on the streets of London on April 1st 2012.

BESTIALITY PRIDE!

Leading clergy, including open-minded R.C.s, have been invited, and so far over 100 have accepted.

Bishop Everly Mainchance has said, "Well, ok, I suppose it had to come, and I don't just accept, but rejoice at it, as a step forward for tolerance and the Big Society, which is what the church is all about, I think."

When asked how he thought the Pope would react, he answered, "Dunno. None of his biz..."

O GLAD! O Brave New World!

Bishops Running Scared

Can you smell the stench of where-to-run-to, pant-wetting teeth-chattering fear, terror, dread, funk?

I can!

They're on the run! Who are? The sin-sodden, sex-hate-mongering, motherhood-and-apple-pie loving bishops in England and Wales, every pathetic mother's son of them.

And for why, you ask?

Cuz their time is up! It's high noon! It's the midnight hour, when Hell doth gape and all that.

Are you with me? No?

Well, try this for size. Our admirable boys in blue have been feeling a few christian collars oop North, and have warned a so-called christian coffee-shop owner to hide his stash of bibles.

And why?

Because, as Dr Krimpleane Phabbs has pointed out in these columns, THAT BOOK is a hate-filled sewer of homophobic poison, not fit for public display.

And the bishops (and it's their book after all) have said NOTHING! Not a word! Not a dickey-bird!

Not a word
I've heard!
Just shows us the buggers are scared!

Yup, I can write poetry, too.

I predict, no, prophesy, that in 5 years 5 YEARS!, the church of rome will be clattering around in circles like an empty beer can in a windy parking lot!

AND YOU CAN QUOTE ME ON THAT.

Bogus Smirk, Chair, PAF (Proud and Faithless)