Yo dudes and dudesses! Greetings from the bongworthy tokable centre of the universe, Glastonbury!
Be ye mellow!
Be ye positive!
Left-footer's always banging on about wanting to be positive - he couldn't if he tried!
Like his church, he's a loser! His church is homophobic. That's official - if you don't believe me, then just ask Tony Blair.
But the UK bishops just lack the guts to say so. Or they don't believe their own Pope. Or they're just negative about being negative.
But I'm positive - about nearly everything. Let's take the news over the last few weeks -
Have we got great laws and judges?
We have.
They gave it straight to those evil, negative, weird, fundamentalist homophobes who call themselves Christians. They said
No to fostering of vulnerable kids by dark-age faith-abusers, bigots and gay-bashers
No to homophobic adoptions
No to gay-bashing bed and breakfast proprietors
No more of that guff about "an Englishman's home is his castle" - not if you're some gay-bashing, hate-criminal worthy to stand in the Nuremberg dock next to Albert Schweitzer, or somebody.
But now, I call on our legislators to show real courage. In the name of deep ecology,
BAN DISINFECTANTS!
BAN ANTIBIOTICS
Why?
We here on Earth are all guests of Mother Gaia.
Humans, animals, fish, reptiles, insects, plants, funguses, fungi, bacteriariariana or whatever.
Even viri (viruses? I dunno).
Even E-coli!
Imagine what it feels like to be disinfected if you're a germ!
So let's show them the love. Let's stop washing, pulling the chain, deodorising, disinfecting, antibioticking, hoovering.
EVERYTHING!
Yours in the love of Gaia. Respect to the Weed!
Eco-Bishop Smirk
I understand about banning disinfectant and stuff like that, but can we still skin gators for the annual Miss Gator Guts competition? My little Jezebel will be very disappointed! She's been practicing all year.
ReplyDeleteAww, Dude! That's no way to bring up your little Jezebel (what a cute name)! Those gators got feelings just like I and you. Skinning 'em just ain't mellow.
ReplyDeleteOK, so you can't disappoint her. So get her skinning potatoes instead. She can be Miss Potator Guts.
Any time you need real cool spiritual counselling, here's the place to get it.
Remember: Keep it mellow, keep it cool.